Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?

He was a very controversial and interesting person. I am currently not sure if I see myself as an atheist, an agnostic, or maybe a heathen. The only thing I'm sure is that I'm not a believer. 

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I got this on Kindle. 1/3. 

He talked quite freely about his illness, and the reaction he got from the Christian faithful. Really good as it is in his voice (I could hear his voice in my head when I read this thin book.) 

2/3

The later part he talked about rude persons he met on saying all the wrong thing to him. And how losing his voice is the thing that bothered him the most. He ended the voice saying he wants his "freedom of speech". 

It is heartbreaking to see a great man going throw pain and medical procedure that prolong his life. He marched on, not fake his vulnerability or his pain of losing his voice. 

"I feel sure in advance, my “will to live” would be hugely attenuated. I often grandly say that writing is not just my living and my livelihood but my very life, and it’s true." 

One could hear his frustration of having to go through this in the last stage of life. But his honesty helps to prepare us what lie ahead if he ever get cancer. 

3/3

He compare his treatment with his previous submission to torture of "water-boarding". That's really what the treatment reminded him of. 

You have to read the last bits. A sentence or two on a response of what happening to him and around him.

"If I convert it’s because it’s better that a believer dies than that an atheist does." 

He is kidding, of course. Like him, I would rather die an atheist than to join such disgusting religions. 

The last bits is his thought, before he could iron out these bits and pieces. Even when you know the ending, and you know he died Dec 15 2011. Sadness still hit you like a wave. It is human nature to make someone you never met, yet admire and keep closely to your heart. And I want to learn from this man like so many other. It matter when he live or die. And when he did die, he will be missed.